2020 is coming to an end! Well isn't that something, a year full of uncertainty and the constant presence of a virus that has been on every ones mind ever since the realisation that it was gonna make things different... To be honest although the last year brought so much sadness, grief and limits with it, there was also a lot of time to think about change. Time to confront yourself with the reality of your life and where you stand in it. For me 2020 was also the year in which I finally reunited with my long-distance boyfriend, in which I moved to Berlin to finally pursue my dreams and career and found the motivation to make my self GO FOR IT.
Going back to the beginning of 2020 I was sitting in my dorm room in London thinking about my poetry assignment, and desperately trying to write about anything other than corny lines about how much I miss my significant other being stuck on the other side of the world. Well turns out I would soon have something else to write about... To be honest I was stuck in the thoughts of why am I here and what is gonna come out of this and why do I not feel like this is it? I was certainly not happy although I was studying something I loved and I had good friends and I was living in my by far favourite city. You would think it's obvious that what was missing was my partner and what was making me question my situation was the fact that we weren't together. And I know that that played a huge role in my growing need to change exactly that, but there was something else too. For two years I had been exploring the world and myself with it. I had made amazing experiences travelling through Australia, meeting strangers from all over the world in hostels, understanding other people's journeys and getting to know so many different cultures and lifestyles. I had made the most amazing friends on my journey, friends that will last a lifetime and who helped me to be one step closer to knowing who I was. And still I wasn't there yet. I wasn't able to say, this is it.
“Life is not one destination, it is like a train, stopping at different stations every fifteen minutes and in the end we might still hop on a different one."
I think most of us take time to really know themselves in and out and be perfectly sure what it is that they want to look back at once they are 60 years old. Life is not one destination, it is like a train, stopping at different stations every fifteen minutes and in the end we might still hop on a different one. So here I am after having been on many different trains going different directions and I'm still navigating myself to a new one.
Now, one year later I am sitting at my table in my cozy one room Berlin apartment, which I share with my now no longer long-distance boyfriend and am looking out of my window and writing this first blog post. Crazy, huh? To be honest I think it's about time I start putting my life to paper. So 2021 what are you gonna hold? A new train track? One that finally leads me to where I wanna stay? 2020 changed so much and it has brought me here. And to make what I have got worth it I will not question change anymore I will willingly aspire it and keep finding my way, because that is how we become who we are and how we make our dreams reality.
Comments