The uncomfortable and unwelcome topic of rejections, let's talk about it. I don't think I have ever met anyone in my life, that has never gotten a No from somewhere or someone. I mean if we were to get a Yes all day everyday, would it not get boring eventually? There wouldn't be much need to fight anymore, no wish to improve, to work on ourselves, it might sound a bit harsh now but don't we all need a rejection at some point to open our eyes? To get out of our comfort zone and maybe put things in a different perspective, maybe a completely new perspective. Of course there are times where a rejection can seem like the end of our world, but let's face it, often it actually is the rejections, the fences, the ignorance in life that makes us wanna really succeed.
Sometimes we want something so bad that we would do anything to get it, to get THERE. And then when we don't, it just feels so unfair, the world is not letting us accomplish that one goal that we had in mind, that one thing that we were reaching towards. It feels like our world is crushing, because frankly the past months that one thing was our world. So what now? Do we bury our head in the blankets, binge eat and drink and watch Bridget Jones Diary on repeat, like we did when we got rejected by our high school crush? I mean, one could do that and take the rejection the worst way possible, which would be as a rejection of yourself, the person that you are. Because as usual, we tend to take everything personally. It doesn't matter who didn't want you and for what reason, we will think it is because of ourselves, because we simply aren't good enough. Reading this now I can think of so many times I was questioning myself and demolishing my self confidence because I was taking things way too personally.
A rejection is most definitely not gonna be the end of you, actually it might just be the new beginning you've been looking for.
In this Post I wanna NOT talk about exactly that process of self doubt but focus on the BENEFITS OF REJECTIONS, because, Yes there are benefits. When I was just recently rejected from three different Drama Universities at once, I had exactly two options, be lost once more or use this No as an input on my next steps. I started analysing my decisions, my reasons and my plans. Turns out I actually started feeling relieved, realising that I was content with the fact that I had simply TRIED. I could now say "I did it" and I had gained a wonderful experience for my life's resume, knowing that I did not shy away from going for it. Because exactly that is something that the fear of rejections sometimes makes us do, shy away from at least trying. We are so terrified by the thought that it might not work, that we might "not do a good enough job" that we end up not giving success a chance in the first place.
So the first benefit of rejections, we already have is the "Been there, done that" one. No one will ever be able to say "well you didn't even try", because you did.
For me it turned out that I know now better than ever what it is that I want to study. Going through all the preparation for acting and talking to other applicants, I realised I love acting but I might not actually want to study it. Instead I rediscovered my love for writing, by getting back to my novel, my poetry as well as starting this blog. So yeah, I realised I missed my creative writing studies and knew I had to get back to that. And there we have it, the second benefit of rejection, comparison and reconsideration. Due to trying out acting, I quickly realised how much I actually had enjoyed writing. I missed it and especially I missed putting my time into it.
Another benefit would be the option to find what your craft lacks and to strengthen it in its weak spots, to come out of it stronger through the critique. Maybe the critics weren't even accurate and you're able to figure that out and free yourself from the bond that you might have had to something or someone, completely. It's like that break up phenomenon. Often partners end up coming out much stronger after they face the failure of the relationship and put the focus back on themselves to heal and learn from what had them break up to either fix the connection or go their separate but happy ways.
Failures are the only way to keep redefining, bettering and healing ourselves. Don't feel embarrassed about a rejection, make it yours and conquer it, use it for your own advantage to either change direction for good or use what stands behind it to pass through it. And most importantly, do not hate on yourself for it. A rejection is most definitely not gonna be the end of you, actually it might just be the new beginning you've been looking for.
Artwork by Christian Orrillo / Insta: @krizpii
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